Well my life hasn’t been grand these past few months. It could have gone better and I know I have a lot to be thankful for but sometimes things do get me down and I feel like punching a wall or something.
Just thought I’d continue to express my frustrations in a more positive manner at any rate. Boohoo to those of you who read. This is a whiny blog of a frustrated brown woman. Heads up.
At this point I’m kinda frustrated with my boyfriend. Some things could go a little better. I’ve been feeling a bit vulnerable lately and I’m thankful I have him. But he isn’t as sensitive as I’d like him to be. He knows my graduation has been deferred and I won’t be able to set off on what I’ve got planned for myself for the year ahead. But he’s busy with his own stuff. And unlike me, who knows that there IS a life beyond medicine, he doesn’t see one. It comes from him being from a ridiculously medical family I guess. I also absolutely hate it when he turns the tables around and makes it seem like I’m the bad person for asking him why he’s not around as much for me. It makes me give up with the relationship and well, just go away and do my own thing.
I’m not a fan of the family either, heh. His parents are ludicrously racist and ridiculous, archaic traditionalists that make me feel conscious being around them. Apparently my weight is not something that pleases their eyes so I prefer to stay away from them.
My weight is back up. Yeah, when my life sucks, so does my health and eating habits. I am an emotional eater and I have been extremely depressed in these past few months. There are days when I’m fantastic. And then there are days when I think, whats the point.
I also have a family that I love but stress me out to bits. They think I’ve got issues – which I do but can you blame me when they’ve been breathing down my neck for the past 10 years about my weight? Heck, I nearly died because of them. I am not accepted by them because I am overweight. Tough shit but every now and then you forget that they’re being assholes for it and it gets a little harder to look past that.
Fyi, I’m not obese. I fall in the overweight category but yeah, not biggest loser material. My family is quite superficial as well.
Anyway, that’s it for now because I can’t be bothered to type anymore.