New layout

Hi all! 

So I’ve tinkered about with a new layout. It’s kinda what I’ve been looking for all this while, something with three columns, black, red and white. Matches some blogs in particular, aha! *cough*FTB*cough*

A lot has happened in the past few months. Lots that haven’t gone along as planned. Lets just say things have not been smooth. But time heals all wounds and I’m kinda on the path of recovery at the moment.

I am also kinda jobless! I was supposed to have started working but like I said, things don’t go as planned. Rest assured my job is waiting for me when I’m able to be back in action in the medical field once more. 

Being away from medicine in this state is kinda liberating. You don’t realise how sucked into the world of medicine you are right until you’ve been given a huge jolt out of it, like I did. I’ve also managed to gain immense insight into the perspectives of people towards doctors and medicine in general. It’s not ideal – in my case, I’ve been exposed to all the bad and sordid details of it, i.e. hierarcy, don’t ever cross your boss etc. Which is funny considering the nature of medicine, it being very humane and all. You would think the mundane issues of bureaucracy should hardly matter in issues evolving around health and saving lives. But as long as human beings exist in an institution, these issues will arise. No matter how nobel or professional, a course/profession claims to be. 

I have also managed to have some quality time with the Boyfriend which has helped a lot. Being in a long distance relationship has its downsides and given the hard year I’ve had, it has not been easy. So quality time is pretty much on the prescription list at this point. More photos to come soon.

But yes, I am back at blogging, more issues to come back up. Malaysia has indeed given me loads to write about and I’ve decided that I will not cower from local threats to my freedom of speech but push forward. There are things that need to be said and the power of the written word is tremendous. 

Expect more stuff soon enough, folks. But for now, I go back to TV in bed with the Boyfriend. 

Cheers.

Food for thought?

Maybe sometimes, it’s just paying more attention to the people around you.

Today, I’ve realised that the people I care for do not show me the same amount of affection I invest in them.

But the people I’ve neglected? They’ve always cared. Even when I haven’t. And I haven’t been the best to them.

I’m sorry I never saw you when I had the chance. I’m sorry I was selfish. I guess I’m paying my penance now, and getting a taste of being with someone selfish.

I’m sorry I stopped caring. I really am.

Cheating

To me? Cheating is when he flirts with another woman. If he had sex with her minus flirting, I could forgive it. But flirting, no no. Big mistake.

Everyone has different versions of what counts, I guess.

Do not silence freedom

I have been held back by people not crazy about my blogging. But I will not be held back anymore.

My own family members have tried to silence me. Luckily,I have a head of my own and trust no one.

I will never stop writing and telling the truth that people never want to see. As long as I live and can write, that will never stop. And some day if I lose the ability to write, I will dictate my written words to someone. And fire those who express opinions on my dictation.

image

I owe it to myself.

Only so many times

There are only so many times, when you can feel for someone by putting your neck on the line. Only so many times.

As of today, I have decided that I am done. I am done apologising for things that are not my problems. I am done apologising for the sensitivity and insecurities of others. I am done being the bigger person and looking over flaws and problems. I am done because I cannot focus on the good because the bad has now overpowered the good by a mile.

For the first time ever, I have decided that I am not going back and I will not bend or break. 

And if it means I lose things, well, so be it. Because I am tired and I have given up.